Thoughts of the Week

I wonder if someone ever evaluates their life and is disappointed with it. I can see someone older looking back at their life and wondering if their entire life was pointless. I guess that’s a thing older people do, but I had that realization today and I’m not very old.

I thought about how far I’ve come in life and if I’m happy where I am now. I don’t want to be too critical on myself, but I couldn’t help but think that I’m not very happy. I wanted to graduate college earlier and I was hoping to already be in my career. I know I’m still young, but the thought of wasting these years away is very unappealing. I also don’t want to be dependent on someone else financially and emotionally. I want to be able to take care of myself. If I was forced to be on my own entirely, I want to know I’ll be okay.

Am I at this point now? No. I still have to rely on my parents for my car payment. I wish I was able to pay that myself, but I can’t right now. On the bright side, I’m able to pay for my gas, food, student loans, living expenses and rent, credit card bills, phone bill, and etc. I just want to be completely independent, doesn’t everybody? I’m working really hard right now towards my goal. And I can see results which is exciting!

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